If you love someone set them free
by Hyperwolfy
Summary: A take on the relationship of Sirius and Remus in and between the books. Can a relationship be restored again after 12 years of feeling betrayed or is the damage done and is it time for a new love? Slash Sirius/Remus and later on Remus/Tonks.


**A/N: **Few years back I made an attempt to write fanfiction but didn't work that well. Now after reading a lot more English and gathered more experience in writing in my own language (Dutch) I thought to finally give it a go again.

In advance I will warn as you can probably guess right now that English is not my first language. To make matters worse I'm dyslectic and do not have a beta-reader yet. There for if you find any spelling of grammar mistakes please let me know so I can fix it and make this more durable to read.

I got this idea while listening to the song _If you love someone set them free_ from Sting. It's a take on the relationship of Sirius and Remus between the books. Yes it is a slash but I'm not going to make it AU so there will be Remus/Tonks in the end and no Tonks bashing because I like her a lot.

Not really a happy fluffy story I think. With what these two had been trough it's a bit unnaturally to be a happy-go-lucky couple again.

Anyway enough said let's go on with the story and I hope you will enjoy it.

**Disclaimer**: The Harry Potter world and characters are not mine I just had fun with it.

**Prologue **

_"You don't believe this wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"_

_"Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter"_

_Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabam ~ Chapter 19_

"Mate we got to talk this afternoon"

These words spoken by James Potter where running through the head of Sirius Black this entire morning, sickening him with worry. Now here he was sitting anxiously on the couch in the Potter living room, watching his friend taking his time serving tea.

The silence was hanging heavily in the room and driving Sirius crazy. The man wished Prongs would just talk already, so the silly thoughts of worry would stop spinning in his head.

Trying to distract himself he began to study his friend, who sat across of him in a big lazy man chair. It was as if James was trying to set a new world record for the slowest tea service to stall the probably uncomfortable conversation.

Deep frowning lines were beginning to set on the brow of the man, a sign that last few hard days were beginning to take a toll on him. The news that Voldemort was targeting Harry had hit them all very hard. The boy was only a year old, a child of pure innocent.

Sirius shuddered at the thought and swore for the thousands time he would do everything in his power to protect Harry and his family.

The man had hoped to see his godson a little longer today, but Lily had taking him to the park, with some other order members to protect them.

"So you two can talk without any distractions," she had reasoned.

But after the question _"Do you want some tea?" _no more words had been spoken in the Potter house.

Finally James, after what felt like hours for Sirius, dropped the last sugar cubes into the milky brown liquid and set the cup in front of his friend. Stirring his own cup, taking a big sigh, he started to speak.

"Dumbledore came by last night to talk. He believes it is for the best to install a secret-keeper. We talked about it before and with you as well, so Lily and I told Dumbledore you're up for the job."

Sirius watched his friend as he began to sip his tea, waiting for more words to be spoken. When this appeared not to happen the man broke the silence himself.

"Of course I'm up for the job. You know I would do everything to keep you guys safe and if that mean risking myself by being secret-keeper than that's what I have to do."

James did not respond, but kept on staring at his cup uncomfortably. Sirius studied his friend for a while before speaking again.

"Is there something else troubling you?"

"Of course there is something else troubling me!" James snapped. "I have nothing else but trouble an worry on my mind! My family is in danger because some powerful maniac wants my son dead on the words of some stupid prophecy! So much has happened in such a small amount of time. Having to watch out with everything you do and getting all kinds of _advise_ of how to keep everyone safe, it's driving me crazy. Lily can't even take Harry to the park without others to _protect_ them! I just wished I could do more to keep them safe than run and hide."

With a sad look in his eyes Sirius watched James who was struggling to fight back desperate tears. He, Lily and Harry, they didn't deserve this.

Yes, being in the Order and the war brought dangers with them, but to have to hide and live in fear because a powerful, but _mad_, wizard was acting on a stupid prophecy of a silly _seer_ was just unfair.

"Mate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Sirius ran a hand through his long silky raven hair. "This is the best option you take right now. It may not be the best feeling, but at this moment we can't fight him. Moony, Wormtail and I will do everything we can do to protect you guys, that's what friends are for but …"

He stopped his little speech when he saw James flinch at the word _friend_. A silence came over them again as Sirius stared at the other man doubtfully, mentally willing him to explain his reaction.

Swirling his cup gently James kept his gaze down and away from his friend. After a large sigh he said;

"There was something else Dumbledore came to talk about."

Silence again.

On many occasions in since they knew each other Sirius wished he had the ability to read his friends mind. This was one of them. Trying to keep his impatience in check he urged James to go on.

"Dumbledore told me we had to be careful with our choice of secret-keeper. He has the suspicion that not all of the Marauders are to be fully trusted. That maybe even one of them is a spy."

Anger rose up in Sirius as he jumped of the couch.

"WHAT!" he roared, "Is that old fool suggesting I would betray you? That _I_, your best friend, would turn over the man I see as _my own brother_ over to those slimy deatheaters and a mad man! What, for Merlin's sake, is that old goat thinking?"

"Calm down mate, please," James tried to say but the other wizard was not listing.

"And you believe that dammed fool! You really think that I would betray Lilly, Harry and you like it is nothing! Where does he get his ideas from? I would never ever … I… I…"

Anger to over the control of the man's mouth making it unable to speak any further. James had let him go on, knowing by now that if Sirius was in a venting mode there was no stopping him. Sternly the man looked at his raging friend.

"I'm not saying I don't trust you, Padfoot," he said calmly, "I just told what Dumbledore has said to me. From an unknown source he's getting all kinds of information and this is the suspicion he shared with me. I know you would never betray us. So sit down, shut your mouth and drink your bloody tea."

"It's hard to drink if I have to shut my mouth," Sirius muttered but after a glare from James he complied and silence fell yet again over the Potter living room.

Uncomfortable moments pasted for both friends as they meekly sipped their tea. Small attempts were made by James in effort to break the silence, as in;

"How is Moony?"

"Fine… gone a lot"

"Ow, how so?"

"Hmm…"

Or;

"Harry really liked the toy-broomstick you gave him"

"Hmm"

The few tries of James for starting a new conversation did not break deep concentration of thoughts Sirius was in.

Hours had seemed to pass when Sirius downed the remains of his now turned cold tea and finally broke the fast of spoken words.

"Maybe Dumbledore does have a point. You should consider your choice of secret-keeper more carefully."

James looked up from his cup and gazed at his friend in a state of surprise.

"I mean if you ask anybody to whom does James Potter trust his secrets to they will answer with my name," Sirius continued, he had stood up from his seat and stared passing, "I'm a to obvious choice. What if they capture me and use my weak spots so I give it away. I can't let that happen!"

"Pad, don't you think you are over reacting?"

"No I'm not!" Sirius replied, "What if we act like I'm secret-keeper while I'm not and not even tell the others of the order we had a chance of plans. In secret we make some else we trust secret-keeper and that way if they come after me I cannot tell them anything because I truly do not know. It's the ultimate bluff!"

It took some time for James to let the words sink before he could give a reply.

"So you are saying we should make Moony secret-keeper?"

Sirius shook his head. A few strands of hair fell into his eyes by the movement and were pushed back irritably.

"No not Remus. Peter is a better choice, someone we can completely trust."

James stared at his friend bewildered. That Sirius of all people would say something like that. He and Remus had been dating ever since 6th year. Hell they even lived together from the moment they all had graduated from Hogwarts.

"You don't completely trust your own lover?"

With a big sigh Sirius let himself fall back unto the couch. Leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling so intense as if he wanted to burn a hole into it.

"I just don't know anymore. He's been acting strange for a long time now. Disappearing at strange times and stay away for a long time and when he returns he's acting all skittish like he's hiding something. He won't tell me where he has been or doing, making silly excuses, like when he was hiding his furry problem from us at school. Most of the nights now he is even afraid to look me in the eye."

"You don't think that's he… you know a spy?" James asked shocked.

Groaning Sirius sank deeper into the cushions of the couch as if he wanted to hide rather than face a possible truth.

"Maybe… I don't know. I love him so much and I want to trust him completely but his behavior of late makes that kind of hard to do."

"Maybe he found a new lover who doesn't worship his own footsteps," James tried as a weak joke but ended with a pillow thrown into his face.

"I'm trying to be serious over here," Sirius said annoyed at his friend.

It had been a while since James had seen this kind of hurt in his friend's eye and it broke him to see it now.

"Maybe you are wrong and ready to much in Moony's jumpy quirks. The stress of these times is getting to all of us I think."

"I hope you are right but just to be completely sure you should make Peter your secret-keeper. They would never suspect it and Peter would never betray you. He worships you. Besides he couldn't even hurt a fly if he wanted to."


End file.
